my only trek tag is voyager, but this does not mention voyager. idk what to do with myself.

[elapses]

I'm developing this habit of hearing Bones spoilers, PANICKING BECAUSE THEY SOUND REALLY LAME, convincing myself the show is going to jump the shark, and then ending up... okay with it. I figured they were not going to (really) go through with the sex thing as soon as chibirhm linked me to spoilery finale pictures, so that wasn't a huge letdown so much as it was a sigh. MOSTLY IT JUST BORED ME. I think this is directly related to the fact that I never go for the AUs when I read fanfiction-- not even when I am intentionally reading bad fanfiction-- BECAUSE THEY ARE BORING. And not about the actual characters I like.

I am kind of like a broken record when I describe Bones-- "it's like bad fanfiction! only AWESOME! and on a tv screen!", but I do that because it is so true. Last week, when Stewie showed up, and my sister gave me this "WTF WHY DO YOU WATCH THIS SHOW" look (she is only passingly familiar with it) I explained it to her that way and by the end she was marveling over the fact that it IS exactly like something you might find on fanfiction.net. Only delightful!

ANYWAY, this week what with the AU and the amnesia it has gotten EVEN WORSE, and I am fully convinced that the Bones writers are getting their plot ideas from some list of fanfic plots. So I thought I would compare Bonez episodes to a list of fanfic cliches which I would find in one google. IT WAS NOT THAT EASY. Apparently lists are very fandom specific? LAME. But fear not, I have cobbled together my own list from various sources:

crossover (4x25)
genderswap
bodyswap
amnesia (4x26)
heat wave (leads to sex)
huddling together for warmth
undercover as a couple
forced to share a bed
high school reunion
aliens/whoever made them do it
mpreg
truth or dare/poker/various other games (when i was eleven, i wrote a story in which ADULTS played zap!, an elementary/middle school game where you write a time of day on the top of someone's hand and the name of a person on the bottom, and if you looked before the time you have to kiss/ask out the person)
mary sues
pregnancy (4x25, kind of?)
babyfic (3x12, also kind of)
apocalypse fic
telepathic soulbonding
hurt/comfort
cancer(/other illness, i guess? ...i read a lot of x-files fanfiction, so i default to cancerfic) (4x25/4x26)
christening the new car(/spaceship/whatever)
arranged marriage
time travel
mistletoe (3x09)
character turns into a child
alternate universe (4x26)
drunkfic
curtainfic (is apparently fandom's term for domestic fluff, i.e. characters shopping for curtains. the more you know!)
vacation!
dramatic near-death confession of love
trapped in a small space together (i suppose you could count the gravedigger episodes, but... also no. because it does not follow the "...and then they have sex" corollary")
arranged date (3x10)
everyone celebrates the author's favorite holiday! in style! (1x09, 3x05, 3x09)
someone is secretly a virgin
an ex returns (1x08)
quarantine! (1x09)
everyone is gay
someone who was dead is not actually dead (3x15)
someone has a tragic/traumatic childhood (booth and brennan both!)

(NEXT SEASON ON BONES-- that whole amnesia thing was a DeadAlive fakeout (GOTCHA, BONES) and everything goes back to normal until Jared Booth dies in an explosion, and Booth is really sad, so Brennan suggests they do half-naked yoga as therapy (Sweets, of course, thinks this is an awesome plan). But then Booth makes eyes at another girl for like, ten minutes, and Brennan gets jealous. And then the have sex. But she dismisses it as an experiment until their son time travels back from the future, and everyone is quizzical, and Brennan ends up having a conversation with her future self about her feelings for Booth. Then Brennan gets forced into marriage with a man she ~does not love~ to save her father's honor and Booth realizes, tragically, as he watches her marry another man, that she is the one true love of his life. They break up a couple episodes later (after ANGST ANGST ANGST), but the experience leaves her shaken and she doesn't want to get into a relationship with Booth. He, in turn, is ~so in love with her~ now that he can't deal, so he requests a transfer. Except, you see, they are soulbonded now, and living in each other's daydreams. So that kind of didn't work. Anyway they solve a crime together by chance, and Brennan kisses him and says she wants him back. AND THEN THEY FIND OUT THEY HAVE A BABY, who was genetically engineered by their enemies. But she is theirs! But then she dies. Meanwhile Cam is awesome and has a daughter, and Angela and Hodgins probably engage in some will they won't they.)

But anyway, is the reason I can't relate this stuff back to season 1 and 2 as much because I don't remember it as well [I've only seen the series once, and I've pretty much only rewatched, like, Aliens in a Spaceship] or because it wasn't actually as fanficcy back then? INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW. (And this list is a rough work in progress-- if you have a trope to add, whether it relates back to Bonez or not, tell me.)


IN OTHER NEWS, it is really weird to me that the new Star Trek movie (which I haven't seen) is apparently so awesome? A bunch of my real life friends LOVED IT. And you guys too. BUT IT'S AWESOME, because my only pipe dream for this movie was that it would make the franchise cool enough again that I might, theoretically, have a fraction of a chance of getting my Bryan Fuller-helmed Trek series. And also because I am SO SICK OF STAR WARS BEING GEEK CHIC, EW >:(

Comments

[superskittles76.livejournal.com]

OH, and why don't you have a generic Trek tag? WHAT SORT OF FAN ARE YOUUUU?!

[elapses.livejournal.com]

WELL, A BAD ONE? MOSTLY I LIKED VOYAGER? And there was a year when I was really into Manny Coto's Enterprise. TNG is so boooooooring and holier than thou and TOS is way too campy for me and DS9... is okay. I guess. BASICALLY I LIKE THE STAR TREKS EVERYONE ELSE THINKS ARE TERRIBLE :(

[superskittles76.livejournal.com]

I haven't seen hardly any TOS. I grew up on and ~love 4eva~ TNG. I've watched some DS9 but it didn't hook me, and I've only seen a few Enterprise eps. I AM LIKE YOU, VOYAGER IS MY FAVORITE AND I AM ASHAMED TO SAY THAT TO OTHER TREKKIES but I love the whole universe so I don't ~discriminate~

[elapses.livejournal.com]

...did you already know Worf is my least favorite, or is that a coincidental choice of gif?

My parents were (very casual) TNG fans, so I... kind of remember it? But not enough to have really grown up on it. I don't know, with me it is always always always about characters. And I was never really attached to anyone on TNG? So that contributed to my boredom. (MEANWHILE I LOVED EVERYONE ON VOYAGER. Even Chakotay. And Neelix. And Kes. And Harry. THEY ALL JUST LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH, BJ)

[superskittles76.livejournal.com]

LMFAO I HAD NO IDEA BUT GO ME :D

It's pretty much always about the characters for me as well. I had a huge crush on Wesley Crusher (I always fall for one guy on the cast, so he was my TNG Tom Paris lol) and I shipped Riker/Troi before I even knew what shipping was. And don't tell me Picard ain't fierce as hell lmfao. (VOVAGER IS MY FAVORITE AND EVEN THOUGH I THEORETICALLY LOVE THEM ALL I STILL HAVE MOMENTS WHERE I CAN BARELY STAND NEELIX AND KES. OTHERWISE, PURE LOVE. IF I LIVED ON A SPACESHIP, IT WOULD BE THIS ONE ♥)

[elapses.livejournal.com]

Oh, Q :D:

When we went to see Nemesis, my sister started the round of applause for the Riker/Troi wedding. TRUE STORY. But sry2say I way too overinvested in Janeway v. Picard to ever like him that much. (GEORDI WAS MY TNG FAVORITE, I really loved the Star Trek episode of Reading Rainbow when I was a kid.)

AND DUDE, I know I am the odd one out for liking everyone. Most people do dislike at least one of those four (or Seven, actually, who I love but she is probably my least favorite? But I don't think I would love her any less than the rest of them if she didn't have SO GODDAMN MUCH SCREENTIME.)

[superskittles76.livejournal.com]

Q is possibly my favorite Trek character ever. Although Janeway is very, very close, and the two of them together melts my soul to goo.

Yeah, I remember hating Seven back in the day when I watched reruns, but when I watched all the seasons on dvd a few years ago, I'd grown to like her. She had FAR TOO MUCH SCREENTIME THOUGH D:

[elapses.livejournal.com]

Janeway is a very close second to B'Elanna for me. Which, IDEK, I GUESS I JUST REALLY LIKE AWESOME WOMEN???

I think she's an interesting character and they're really lucky they picked Jeri Ryan, because she actually can act (but you know that's not why they cast her) but like, HOW MANY DIFFERENT WAYS CAN SHE EXPLORE HUMANITY? STOP IT >:(

(Actually, apparently Bryan Fuller thought the Janeway/Seven dynamic was Voyager's saving grace. IL HIM, BUT NO >:( I guess that explains all the random Seven episodes that mar his otherwise semi-lovely Trek writing record.)

[superskittles76.livejournal.com]

I tend to love male characters more because I've got daddy issues LMFAO and I generally like women that I look up to (Janeway) and want to be/want to be in the place of (B'Elanna lol).

I am still bitter about the lack of Janeway/Chakotay. I think the only time I really dislike Seven is when they brought in the Chakotay thing. And even then I still liked her because I wanted to be her with Chakotay LOL :P

I HAVE TURNED YOUR BONES ENTRY INTO A TREK POST :D

[elapses.livejournal.com]

I always loved that all the girls on Voyager could TOTALLY TAKE all the boys. Except maybe Tuvok. And Kes doesn't count.

LOLOLOLOLOL EW, BJ, CHAKOTAY IS A GROSS OLD MAN. (But god, C/7 STILL MAKES NO SENSE.)

You have! :D:

[superskittles76.livejournal.com]

CHAKOTAY IS NOT GROSS. HE IS AWESOME AND HAS A FACE TATTOO. AND ONCE YOU GET PAST TOM AND HARRY, HE IS A WOMAN'S BEST OPTION ON THAT SHIP D:

[elapses.livejournal.com]

THERE'S A REALLY CUTE ENSIGN THAT ALMOST DIES IN DRONE, there must be others.