my only trek tag is voyager, but this does not mention voyager. idk what to do with myself.

[elapses]

I'm developing this habit of hearing Bones spoilers, PANICKING BECAUSE THEY SOUND REALLY LAME, convincing myself the show is going to jump the shark, and then ending up... okay with it. I figured they were not going to (really) go through with the sex thing as soon as chibirhm linked me to spoilery finale pictures, so that wasn't a huge letdown so much as it was a sigh. MOSTLY IT JUST BORED ME. I think this is directly related to the fact that I never go for the AUs when I read fanfiction-- not even when I am intentionally reading bad fanfiction-- BECAUSE THEY ARE BORING. And not about the actual characters I like.

I am kind of like a broken record when I describe Bones-- "it's like bad fanfiction! only AWESOME! and on a tv screen!", but I do that because it is so true. Last week, when Stewie showed up, and my sister gave me this "WTF WHY DO YOU WATCH THIS SHOW" look (she is only passingly familiar with it) I explained it to her that way and by the end she was marveling over the fact that it IS exactly like something you might find on fanfiction.net. Only delightful!

ANYWAY, this week what with the AU and the amnesia it has gotten EVEN WORSE, and I am fully convinced that the Bones writers are getting their plot ideas from some list of fanfic plots. So I thought I would compare Bonez episodes to a list of fanfic cliches which I would find in one google. IT WAS NOT THAT EASY. Apparently lists are very fandom specific? LAME. But fear not, I have cobbled together my own list from various sources:

crossover (4x25)
genderswap
bodyswap
amnesia (4x26)
heat wave (leads to sex)
huddling together for warmth
undercover as a couple
forced to share a bed
high school reunion
aliens/whoever made them do it
mpreg
truth or dare/poker/various other games (when i was eleven, i wrote a story in which ADULTS played zap!, an elementary/middle school game where you write a time of day on the top of someone's hand and the name of a person on the bottom, and if you looked before the time you have to kiss/ask out the person)
mary sues
pregnancy (4x25, kind of?)
babyfic (3x12, also kind of)
apocalypse fic
telepathic soulbonding
hurt/comfort
cancer(/other illness, i guess? ...i read a lot of x-files fanfiction, so i default to cancerfic) (4x25/4x26)
christening the new car(/spaceship/whatever)
arranged marriage
time travel
mistletoe (3x09)
character turns into a child
alternate universe (4x26)
drunkfic
curtainfic (is apparently fandom's term for domestic fluff, i.e. characters shopping for curtains. the more you know!)
vacation!
dramatic near-death confession of love
trapped in a small space together (i suppose you could count the gravedigger episodes, but... also no. because it does not follow the "...and then they have sex" corollary")
arranged date (3x10)
everyone celebrates the author's favorite holiday! in style! (1x09, 3x05, 3x09)
someone is secretly a virgin
an ex returns (1x08)
quarantine! (1x09)
everyone is gay
someone who was dead is not actually dead (3x15)
someone has a tragic/traumatic childhood (booth and brennan both!)

(NEXT SEASON ON BONES-- that whole amnesia thing was a DeadAlive fakeout (GOTCHA, BONES) and everything goes back to normal until Jared Booth dies in an explosion, and Booth is really sad, so Brennan suggests they do half-naked yoga as therapy (Sweets, of course, thinks this is an awesome plan). But then Booth makes eyes at another girl for like, ten minutes, and Brennan gets jealous. And then the have sex. But she dismisses it as an experiment until their son time travels back from the future, and everyone is quizzical, and Brennan ends up having a conversation with her future self about her feelings for Booth. Then Brennan gets forced into marriage with a man she ~does not love~ to save her father's honor and Booth realizes, tragically, as he watches her marry another man, that she is the one true love of his life. They break up a couple episodes later (after ANGST ANGST ANGST), but the experience leaves her shaken and she doesn't want to get into a relationship with Booth. He, in turn, is ~so in love with her~ now that he can't deal, so he requests a transfer. Except, you see, they are soulbonded now, and living in each other's daydreams. So that kind of didn't work. Anyway they solve a crime together by chance, and Brennan kisses him and says she wants him back. AND THEN THEY FIND OUT THEY HAVE A BABY, who was genetically engineered by their enemies. But she is theirs! But then she dies. Meanwhile Cam is awesome and has a daughter, and Angela and Hodgins probably engage in some will they won't they.)

But anyway, is the reason I can't relate this stuff back to season 1 and 2 as much because I don't remember it as well [I've only seen the series once, and I've pretty much only rewatched, like, Aliens in a Spaceship] or because it wasn't actually as fanficcy back then? INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW. (And this list is a rough work in progress-- if you have a trope to add, whether it relates back to Bonez or not, tell me.)


IN OTHER NEWS, it is really weird to me that the new Star Trek movie (which I haven't seen) is apparently so awesome? A bunch of my real life friends LOVED IT. And you guys too. BUT IT'S AWESOME, because my only pipe dream for this movie was that it would make the franchise cool enough again that I might, theoretically, have a fraction of a chance of getting my Bryan Fuller-helmed Trek series. And also because I am SO SICK OF STAR WARS BEING GEEK CHIC, EW >:(

Comments

[superskittles76.livejournal.com]

I am SO HAPPY that Trek is maybe cool again. I still haven't seen the movie (GAAAAAASP) but I was waiting for finals to be over so hopefully I'll get out of bed before the weekend is over lol and I can go see it sooooon. I NEED WEEKLY TREK IN MY LIFE. I wasn't into it enough in time to watch any of the series' on tv when they were airing except Enterprise and I didn't get that channel, so I need this :D

[elapses.livejournal.com]

THE PROBLEM IS I DON'T THINK THIS IS ENOUGH. I bet we'll need like, three more seasons of Bryan Fuller not being able to save Heroes from itself and two more ~cool~ Trek movies before the universe decides to grant me my wish ;___;

[superskittles76.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I think it's definitely going to have to prove itself. It has a chance though, and I have faith in the Federation *IS A NERD*

[superskittles76.livejournal.com]

OH, and why don't you have a generic Trek tag? WHAT SORT OF FAN ARE YOUUUU?!

[elapses.livejournal.com]

WELL, A BAD ONE? MOSTLY I LIKED VOYAGER? And there was a year when I was really into Manny Coto's Enterprise. TNG is so boooooooring and holier than thou and TOS is way too campy for me and DS9... is okay. I guess. BASICALLY I LIKE THE STAR TREKS EVERYONE ELSE THINKS ARE TERRIBLE :(

[annalouwho.livejournal.com]

you'll probably hate the movie, though, actually. it seems to me like everyone who loves it are people like me who haven't really seen any of the TV show(s) and the only thing we really know about it is that spock kicks ass. the actual trekkies seem to not like it.

[elapses.livejournal.com]

I've seen like, four episodes of the original Trek series in my life, though, so I don't really know which camp I'll fall into.

[silverstars.livejournal.com]

I have been trying to figure out how to respond to this because it is so awesome that it apparently has affected my brain's ability to form complete thoughts. BUT. Look what I just saw on Hart Hanson's twitter:

This was the original question: Can you confirm that Jack's commentary = Bren's Book..and the non commentary = booth's dream

HH's response: I absolutely CANNOT confirm. It wasn't a dream, it wasn't a book, it was something else. The meeting of two minds?

THE MEETING OF TWO MINDS??? WHAT KIND OF NONSENSE IS THAT? Looks like he's been reading some sci-fi fanfic lately. I think that fits the "telepathic soulbonding" category on your list.

[elapses.livejournal.com]

The meeting of two minds?
AHAHAHA OH MY GOD, whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat. WHAT. It's almost like he thinks of it as his ~literary masterpiece~, that is ~open to interpretation~ and ~not comprehensible to lesser minds~.

[forthesky.livejournal.com]

I was just reading through your Voyager comment thread and I realised I knew most of their names from your description of the show to me/that opera video, WHICH WAS SO HILARIOUS. :D: Anyway, I do not know how to feel about Star Trek! All these positive comments are making me want to see it less, because I am contrary, and after the Watchmen experience: reading the raving reviews all through my flist and then dying of lol all through the actual movie. Have you seen it, btw? I hope I didn't just insult a movie you liked :(

ALSO THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR ENTRY WHATSOEVER, but guess who a) finished their seven page paper, so I can get back on gchat, and b) FINISHED CHUCK S1?! I always decide it's a good idea to watch tv shows when I have an assignment due the next day. BUT ANYWAY, OH MY GOD, ALEX!!!!!! I am starting S2 tonight/tomorrow because my strategy of ~saving it~ has gone out the window in favour of continuing with the awesome. We need to talk about it soon!!

AGAIN ALSO, your Bones ~fanfic~ list is hilarious. 4x25-4x26 sound like they have every awesome fanfic story ever! Is it weird that this is making me even more excited to watch it? BECAUSE IT IS.

[elapses.livejournal.com]

Lol, I haven't seen Watchmen. I HAVEN'T SEEN MOST MOVIES, HONESTLY. But also it looked boring.

\o/ CONGRATULATIONS! And wait did you skip ahead of Australian TV? I AM SO GLAD/EXCITED!!!! Augh I cannot BELIEVE we do not know if it's renewed yet. Apparently they made a "Save Chuck" joke in relation to some politician on the Daily Show the other day :D:

NO??? That list is why Bones is AWESOME.

[stepliana.livejournal.com]

I've never seen ANYTHING Star Trek in my entire life - not a TV show, not one single movie, and I am OBSESSED with this new film. Apologies, but I was a pretty big Star Wars nerd growing up, so my ~*loyalty*~ made me avoid the Trek, but now?! I don't know if I should watch the TV shows/old movies though because I don't know how I'd feel about them?

[elapses.livejournal.com]

OH I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND, my Trek loyalty always made me avoid Star Wars. I wish I had seen the new movie so I could actually tell you whether or not I think you'd like the various shows-- in my opinion the fan favorites (the Original and the Next Generation) are pretty dated and hardish to get into. Deep Space 9 is generally considered the best-- they go into war themes and have story arcs (which is kind of sadly a big deal on Star Trek-- TNG and Voyager never have arcs). The most recent two are generally considered the worst of Trek, but I'm kind of biased because they (especially Voyager) are the only two I was even invested in. Season 4 of Enterprise (and Manny Coto was trying to ~bring it back to the original series style~), so you miiiiiiight like that? It's just hard to get into because the first two years of the show really are godawful (they changed the creative team up for the other two years). And I think you might have fun with the Bryan Fuller episodes of Voyager (he did two for DS9 also), too, because they are all just SO baby Bryan Fuller-- charming and funny and a lot of time is spent toying with mortality.

[twirls.livejournal.com]

I love this list. "An ex returns" is already done, though - 1x08 (The Girl in the Fridge). And I'm fairly certain that The Pain in the Heart (3x15) qualifies as "someone who was dead is not actually dead." I am super excited for bodyswap, and do not doubt it will somehow happen.

[elapses.livejournal.com]

Oh I forgot about 1x08, thank you! I've been toying with the question of Max being a return from the dead-- because he wasn't dead, just ~missing~-- but I think you're right, and 3x15 counts. I will edit all that in!

[shimmeryshine.livejournal.com]

LOLOLOL YOUR BONES FANFIC LIST IS A+. But I mean, most times this is why we love it so much! And then Hart has to go and think he is some ~literary genius and ugh. I don't think I would have been so angry had he not TOUTED TO THE MEDIA that it would "all be real" and blah blah blah, it made me have expectations. I wasn't even so mad about the sex being fake as the stupid amnesia at the end. I'm pretty much to the point where I think it's not even worth getting worked up over because I'm sure it'll be resolved within like, the first episode of season 5. This episode would have worked much better as a random filler episode rather than a season finale. UGH WHATEVER. I'm just going to go on pretending it doesn't exist. (Which is sad, because I actually liked the sex scene! Everything else was so so so out of character though, ew. I never EVER read AU fic either so I default to DNW DNW).

[elapses.livejournal.com]

IT'S ACTUALLY REALLY WEIRD, to me, how after all the stuff he said to the media, this is how he delivers? I don't know, I guess he just... didn't seem like he was toying with us at the time.

But yeah, it would have worked so much better as a midseason whatever. I mean, honestly, mostly it just bored me? Which is not how fancy season finales should go.

I liked the sex scene too! I was sure it was fake, but halfway through I started grinning anyway, IT WAS KIND OF LOVELY.

[thatlldopig.livejournal.com]

I think this is directly related to the fact that I never go for the AUs when I read fanfiction-- not even when I am intentionally reading bad fanfiction-- BECAUSE THEY ARE BORING. And not about the actual characters I like.
EXACTLY!

[elapses.livejournal.com]

IDK why they all thought this would make such a delightful finale. CLEARLY IT IS IRRELEVANT TO EVERYTHING.

I am pretty entertained by how this icon you made is now everyone's go-to finale icon, btw. IT IS PERFECT FOR IT.

[goldenmelisande.livejournal.com]

ALEX I AM DISAPPOINTED THAT YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THE STAR TREK MOVIE YET. I have seen it 3 times already ngl. I am SUCH A LOSER, the first time it showed a spaceship my brother and I were seriously in awe. And we kept like grinning really hard for no good reason other than WE JUST REALLY LIKE SPACE A LOT. I was never that attached to TOS (I really don't know anything beyond character names) either and tbh I think that makes it better. Jon wants to buy DS9 on DVD and I am very okay with this, I know he'll never go for Voyager though. :( He always denies ever liking it, which btw, is A TOTAL FUCKING LIE. I didn't like TNG that much either but I a) shipped Troi/Riker even though I didn't like Riker as a character, b) was obsessed with the First Contact movie, and c) really liked Geordi LaForge. Also I watched the first X-Men movie because it had Captain Picard in it.

I guess I just really wanted to talk about Star Trek, sorry, that was kind of rambly. ALSO I HAVE A SUPER IMPORTANT QUESTION. You know how you were saying that Enterprise sucks except for the last season? Can I watch the last season without watching the sucky ones? Because I don't want to have to sit through crap tbh.

[elapses.livejournal.com]

I KNOW I NEED TO. It's just that I was in Austin that week and now like, ALL MY FRIENDS IN TOWN HAVE SEEN IT. But whatev, I WILL GO SOON, I have to.

I didn't like TNG that much either but I a) shipped Troi/Riker even though I didn't like Riker as a character, b) was obsessed with the First Contact movie, and c) really liked Geordi LaForge. Also I watched the first X-Men movie because it had Captain Picard in it.
UM, I MIGHT AS WELL HAVE WRITTEN THIS SENTENCE. Riker is really boring :(

I thiiiiiiink so? I mean I still haven't seen more than ten episodes from the first seasons. I mean idk, part of me wants to say you should watch the Pilot or something just to get a ~grasp~ on the characters, but I don't even remember it being all that interesting, so maybe not. There are two awesomeish episodes in season 3, though-- Similitude and Twilight (I think there's one other that's good that I haven't seen?). And the first two episodes of s4 are not awesome like the rest of it, Berman and Braga's parting gift to Manny Coto was to make the last five minutes of the s3 finale it shifts from killing Xindi to LOL ARCHER WENT BACK IN TIME AND THERE ARE NAZIS!!!!1!!!!1!! (When it aired, I found this v. accurate comic (http://users.livejournal.com/stay_/13845.html#cutid1).) So you might just want to skip to Home?

[praedial.livejournal.com]

It was a really good movie. And the most Trek I've ever watched was staying up really late and catching episodes of TOS throughout my life. So I guess it was good for me because I had enough knowledge to thoroughly enjoy the movie but not too much where I may have seen glaring mistakes or some such thing?

Also, I don't really understand the need to compare Star Wars and Star Trek because they are not the same at all and blahblah. You know where my loyalties lie though.

[elapses.livejournal.com]

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh I have already talked to you about this so I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M REPLYING, but hiiiiiii, I LOVE YOU.

[stop-theworld.livejournal.com]

I'm late to the party but totally commenting anyway because a) I'm really into your entries, and b) comments are always love! :D?

BONES. I mean, this show IS bad fanfiction and that's really what makes it so joyous. I don't like ff AUs, either (mostly because I don't... get how they're about the show in question?) but I did rather enjoy that finale. Although it was definitely on crack, even for Bones.

Your list is THE BEST. I look forward to seeing how many more items can be checked off in season fiiiiive!

Sweets, of course, thinks this is an awesome plan LMAO LMAO YES. He is the best little shipper ever. He probably has a LiveJournal and writes NC-17 RPF babyfic about Booth and Brennan. (WAIT. I want that to be a plotline now. Can it be???)

I am seeing Star Trek today! \o/

[elapses.livejournal.com]

:D!!!

IDK, I didn't really have a problem with the finale, I just... wasn't that interested in it. Although they did do some funny/clever lines in their AU. BUT I DO LOVE MY STUPID SHOW.

Weeeeeee should totally come back to this list after season 5, y/mfy? To see what else they have done? It is RIDICULOUS how many they have already touched on.

LOL HE KIND OF ALREADY DID? I mean his book: BASICALLY FANFICTION. Maybe I should add veiled self-insert to my list and bold it for Sweets. OH, SWEETS. How I love him.

TAKE ME WITH YOU, EDIZZYBETH (SEE WHAT I DID THERE?). I want to go today so so so badlyyyyyyyyy, but fucking Vivian isn't picking up her fucking phone >:(