little chakotay in the big woods

[elapses]

OMG YOU GUYS WE JUST WATCHED
~*~RESOLUTIONS~*~

AND THIS SHIT IS HILARIOUS.

YOU SEE... once upon a time, when they were marooned on a planet ~forever alone together~ in their little log cabin (except of course they were back on the ship by the end of the episode), the Captain made the mistake of telling Chakotay that he could call her "Kathryn". AND HE THOUGHT... "OOOOH, MAYBE THIS MEANS I CAN GET LAID!!!!"




THE FIRST STEP IN ANY FRONTIER MAN'S WOOING MANUAL IS TO BUILD A GIRL A BATHTUB.


But Chakotay was tragically relegated inside to make sandpaintings during the naked parts.


Hmmmmmm... too obvious? Maybe next time I should try something less naked if I want her naked with me.





"HEY KATHRYN... DO YOU REALIZE... THAT WE ARE GOING TO BE ON THIS PLANET... ALONE... TOGETHER... FOREVER?"


"Yes?"







"Hey Chakotay, whatcha doin'?"


"Building you a headboard, because I know you like to read in bed...


...it's just how I am...


...making you things, cooking for you, wearing adorable woodsman britches for your viewing pleasure, being the man of your dreams? :D?"


"That's really sweet Chakotay! I'm going to go collect some bugs, k?"


I'm actually the last man on the planet and she'd still rather do science experiments than fuck me. FML




"Hey Chakotay, you know what...


My outfit is disgusting and this sucks a little less than camping."


:D :D :D
(OH GOD YOU GUYS SERIOUSLY, these caps don't do his justice, but his whole face LIGHTS UP, IT'S THE FUNNIEST THING.)



Now, the lady has not responded to the bathtub, the headboard, the cooking, the time he saved her from the plasma storm, his numerous reminders that they are the only two people on this planet and will be ~for the rest of their lives~, or his offer to build her a log cabin. CLEARLY IT'S...

BACKRUB TIME!


"Chakotay, is that a phaser in your pocket, or are you just... uh... oh."


FML


OKAY THIS NEXT PART IS LEGIT DIALOGUE, I... cannot make it any funnier than it already was:

""I'm not sure I can...define peramaters. But I can tell you a story, an acient legend among my people. Its about an angry warrior who lived his life in conflict with the rest of his tribe, a man who couldn't find peace even with the help of his spirit guide. For years he stuggled with his discontent, but the only satisfaction he ever got came when he was in battle. This made him a hero among his tribe, but the warrior still longed for peace within himself. One day he and his war party were captured by a neighboring tribe, lead by a woman warrior. She called on him to join her, because her tribe was too small and weak to defend itself from all its enimies. The woman warrior was brave, and beautiful, and very wise. The angry warrior swore to himself that he would stay by her side, doing whatever he could to make her burden lighter. From that point on her needs would come first; and in that way, the warrior began to know the true meaning of peace."


AAAAAAAAAAAND THEN THEY (PROBABLY) HAD SEX. Mission accomplished, Chakotay! You darn talented half-pint, you!

Oh, and C-Catherine? I... have a present for you.

Comments

[goldenmelisande.livejournal.com]

LITTLE CHAKOTAY IN THE BIG WOODS!!!! OH MY GOD ALEX, THIS EPISODE WAS LIKE THE MOST DELIGHTFUL THING IN THE HISTORY OF EVER. I AM STILL LIKE CHOKING BACK LAUGHTER AS I TYPE THIS. CHAKOTAY JUST WANTS TO SETTLE DOWN IN A LITTLE LOG CABIN AND HAVE LOTS OF SEX AND MAYBE EVENTUALLY HAVE 4 DAUGHTERS AND OKAY SO WHAT IF HE DOES WANT TO BUY BUILD A COVERED WAGON AND HEAD WEST, THAT'S HIS PREROGATIVE, OKAY.

[famousdeaths.livejournal.com]

LOL I'm watching Voyager for the first time - I picked some random Trek to watch - and I shipped Janeway/Chakotay SO HARD until Tom and B'Elanna stole my heart.

Still, THEY TOTALLY HAD SEX IN THAT EPISODE. After that story how could Janeway not put out?

[thecolorbetween.livejournal.com]

What is with all the Hawaiian shirts and themed outfits? Also, that one dude's hair changes a loooot! And that scene when they were in the cave (??) looks kind of hot? (That word really weirds me out to describe situations, but whatevs.) Is he a good guy? Bad guy? A womanizer (womanizer)?

[dictatorcari]

OH GOD THAT VIDEO, THAT VIDEO!!!

[forthesky.livejournal.com]

HA, your commentary is hilarious.

And omg, that video is awesome. That cave scene was the one I watched, y/y? Where the girl was all "let's have sex!!"? That was lolarious.

I am glad you're having so much fun rewatching!! I managed to rewatch Pushing Daisies S1, Chuck S1, start rewatching Chuck S2 & start watching Wonderfalls in three days. :/

[outintherain.livejournal.com]

HOW COULD I FORGET THE LOLS IN THIS EPISODE? OMFGS...

[whalelines.livejournal.com]

lolololol this ep. i need to go read my fanfic that I wrote about it!!!!

[book-babe.livejournal.com]

i don't even watchhhh voyager and this was absolutely hilarious hilarious hilarious to read. i'm a fan.

[the-wanlorn.livejournal.com]

BFFS IN SPACE

[superskittles76.livejournal.com]

OMG THE POST AND THE VIDEO AND THE COMMENTS ALL JUST KILLED ME DED. HOW DID I NEVER NOTICE THE RIDICULOUSNESS OF THIS EPISODE?! I AM FAR EASIER THAN JANEWAY BECAUSE CHAKOTAY WON ME OVER SO FAST I DIDN'T NOTICE HOW HILARIOUS THIS ALL IS. I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING LMFAOOO

Omg that video, I can't believe you included when he and Janeway transformed and had bbs. That still kills me. That episode is so insane, idek.

STOP MAKING ME WANT TO REWATCH VOYAGER, I HAVE TOO MANY OTHER SHOWS TO WATCH!! :P