nine years later i can still produce star trek voyager related word vomit! WHO KNEW. well, me.

[elapses]

INTERNET, I NEED TO TALK ABOUT SOMETHING I LOVE AND THEN WHAT BOTHERS ME ABOUT IT!



LET ME SET THIS SCENE FOR YOU IN MY SLIGHTLY EMBELLISHED WAY: three days ago, when they were about to run out of oxygen in the middle of space, B'Elanna said "I love you" (she, like, continually calls herself a coward as she slowly runs out of oxygen and he continually tries to give her outs from saying "real things" to him, BECAUSE YOU GUYS, this is Tom Paris' approach to B'Elanna Torres and her severe set of trust issues/advanced avoidance techniques: PATIENCE. Sometimes he gets mad and fussy but most of the time he just deals with it and GIVES HER AS MANY OUTS AS SHE NEEDS, because he would so much rather be her "friend" without benefits for another eight years than pressure her to the point where she throws him out of her life completely. BECAUSE SHE IS B'ELANNA TORRES, and that is reason enough), and Tom said "you picked a great time to tell me". She wakes up first, remembers (makes sure he's fine), and then bolts. And then she works. She specifically times her lunch breaks so she doesn't run into him, stuffs herself into jeffries tubes when necessary, and like, she has to get the warp core online and finish getting all the borg stuff gone, so it's not like she even really needs an excuse? She could have gone much longer, except, well, then stupid Tuvok had to go and get himself promoted and obviously this is an excuse for a senior staff bonding party. BUT IT'S OKAY, she can go, not sit with Tom and Harry, and bolt when it's over.

Unfortunately, it's been like a year since their thing started and even longer since they've become friends, so Tom Paris is slick to her tricks. Before the applause is even over, he is scoping her out, waiting for her to flee so he can follow.

B'Elanna is adept at the quick congratulatory flashback followed by SPEEDWALKING OUT OF THE MESSHALL MANEUVER.

Tom, who has spent his entire bridge shift for the day planning this maneuver, is also adept, and his eyes never leave his target. He gets it: she's been avoiding him, she's going to deny it, and that's okay, he'll give her another out if she needs it.

(right cap is his FACE when she does not take his out and instead says that yes, she is in love with him and willing to stick to that particular gun. AND THAT TAKES SO MUCH OF HER COURAGE, like, more than any of the fights she's been in or the times she's been about to die, SHE IS PUTTING HERSELF ON THE LINE AND THIS IS A BIG DEAL).

UM YEAH THE WAY HE GRABS HER HAND BEFORE HE KISSES HER? I, LIKE, yeah.



HERE IS WHAT I DON'T GET THOUGH, and that is why in the process of this scene and the part where she says "I love you", Tom Paris does not say it back. BECAUSE HE TOTALLY DOES, and furthermore, HE KNOWS SHE NEEDS TO HEAR IT BACK. Like I like the way the scenes work, BUT IT JUST DOES NOT JIBE WITH HIS CHARACTERIZATION. I always had an issue with that fanfic trope back in the day, where Tom Paris ~has issues saying "I love you"~, BECAUSE IT IS RIDICULOUS. The idea of him not telling his oh-god-no-one-will-ever-love-me-because-I'm-half-Klingon girlfriend that he loves her back is ludicrous, since, a) he does, b) no one cares about whatever manpain would prevent you from saying "I love you" to your GIRLFRIEND WHOM YOU LOVE, Tom Paris, c) HE DOES, d) HE HAS SAID IT TO HER WITH HIS ACTIONS, but e) you know that shit goes right over her head, f) he goes OUT OF HIS way to help her accept herself, g) JUST, LIKE, NO, HE DOES, AND HE WOULD SAY IT. Can you even imagine if he didn't?

THEN IN THE PROCESS OF WORKING MYSELF UP OVER THIS, I... remembered how in "Drive" (my sister Hannah and I used to have it memorized, NO JOKE. We would trade off playing Harry/B'Elanna and Tom/Irina each time! To prove our prowess! ...idk why I am admitting this), Tom says, "well, you've got this tough Klingon exterior, I didn't think you liked... the mushy stuff". WHICH, TOM, ARE YOU AN IDIOT? DO YOU UNDERSTAND HER AT ALL? I mean I guess you can't say anyone ever really understands her, she is basically an onion of insecurity: every time you peel back a layer and thing she has finally gotten over her issues, WHAM BANG, she's being totally neurotic again (SHE JUST... SHE IS A RIDICULOUS LITTLE WONDERBRAT AND I LOVE HER TO PIECES), however, are you actually stupid, Thomas Eugene Paris? I mean, disregarding the fact that that quote is from SEASON 7, WHEN HE HAS BEEN DATING HER FOR THREE (TWO?) YEARS, at this point in the timeline she has, point blank, told you she likes a little romance in her holonovels, AND YOU CAUGHT HER READING A ROMANCE NOVEL. SHE JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED, DUH.


BASICALLY, WHAT I AM SAYING IS THIS, TOM PARIS: she is my girl, AND YOU DO NOT HURT HER. And by "hurt her" I mean "not shower her with praise, affection, and I love yous" daily/hourly/even more frequently at your discretion, BECAUSE LET'S FACE IT: she kind of needs it.

Also this is like my favorite P/T scene! Ever! Maybe! I don't know!



P.S. I AM HAVING A REALLY HARD TIME, this time, getting over Kes leaving (the only other time I saw "Scorpion"/"The Gift" I was not yet invested -- I was ten, they were my third/fourth episodes, the ♥_♥ thing didn't really hit me until "Day of Honor") and it is making me SUPER RESENTFUL OF LIKE, SEVEN OF NINE'S EXISTENCE. Here is something to chew on, Voyager powers that be: YOU CAN HAVE MORE THAN ONE BLONDE GIRL IN A CATSUIT AT ONCE (even more preferably, uh, let's trash the catsuits! At least on Kes!), in ways that also involve not killing off Harry Kim. I just want EVERYONE AT ONCE, Voyager, is that so much to ask? KES ;____;

(IT'S SO SAD TOO, BECAUSE KES WOULD HAVE BEEN ALL OVER the Seven-humanity project in a way that makes more sense than Janeway's obsession with it, and eventually they would have been bffs, AND IT WOULD HAVE BEEN LOVELY)

(Also Kes was legitimately the only person on board that Kathryn Janeway opened up to ;_;)

Anyway the only way I am moving through my Kes-related resentment of Seven of Nine is by pretending that she is going to develop a one-sided crush on B'Elanna Torres (IT'S TOTALLY CANON, and so much better than Seven/any of the dudes, and meanwhile Seven is like, constantly skulking around Engineering in her awkward borg way and B'Elanna is TOTALLY OBLIVIOUS TO ANY ROMANTIC FEELINGS/fussy/constantly complaining to Tom and Harry about how she the stupid borg is invading op a HER TERRITORY, aka Engineering. ANY OTHER INTERPRETATION OF SEVEN OF NINE IS WRONG)






Valuable life lessons I have learned in the last two days: YOU DO NOT LET YOURSELF GET TALKED INTO PICNICKING WITH ESTRANGED HIGH SCHOOL FRIENDS, and also you should... check your gas levels? When you drive?

Comments

[goldenmelisande.livejournal.com]

B'ELANNA TORRES, ESCAPE STRATEGIST EXTRAORDINAIRE. God you just KNOW that in the 3 days between Day of Honor and Revulsion, she was totally resorting to like, ducking around corners and hiding behind bulked up crewmen.

[elapses.livejournal.com]

YOU'RE HALLUCINATING, TOM PARIS, she wasn't... avoiding, the warpcore was offline! She had very important engineery things to do and HOW DARE YOU suggest that she specifically sent Vorik to run interference for her.

(Also idg how Chakotay doing... whatever he did in that green episode we watched like 15 seconds of total fits between Day of Honor and Revulsion?)

[stop-theworld.livejournal.com]

YOU ARE AN IMMENSELY ENTERTAINING INDIVIDUAL. ♥.

[elapses.livejournal.com]

I AM SO GLAD YOU THOUGHT SO, because, looking back at this entry? IT IS SO NONSENSICAL I WANT TO SAY IT READS ALMOST... DRUNK (I mean like, I wasn't at all, but... well. Oh god, can you even imagine being the girl who drunk posts her overinvestment in shitty Star Trek shows? I COULD SO EASILY BE THAT GIRL, shit).

[goldenmelisande.livejournal.com]

[elapses.livejournal.com]

[goldenmelisande.livejournal.com]

[elapses.livejournal.com]

[goldenmelisande.livejournal.com]