elapses | my only trek tag is voyager, but this does not mention voyager. idk what to do with myself.

I'm developing this habit of hearing Bones spoilers, PANICKING BECAUSE THEY SOUND REALLY LAME, convincing myself the show is going to jump the shark, and then ending up... okay with it. I figured they were not going to (really) go through with the sex thing as soon as

chibirhm linked me to spoilery finale pictures, so that wasn't a huge letdown so much as it was a sigh. MOSTLY IT JUST BORED ME. I think this is directly related to the fact that I never go for the AUs when I read fanfiction-- not even when I am intentionally reading bad fanfiction-- BECAUSE THEY ARE BORING. And not about the actual characters I like.

I am kind of like a broken record when I describe Bones-- "it's like bad fanfiction! only AWESOME! and on a tv screen!", but I do that because it is so true. Last week, when Stewie showed up, and my sister gave me this "WTF WHY DO YOU WATCH THIS SHOW" look (she is only passingly familiar with it) I explained it to her that way and by the end she was marveling over the fact that it IS exactly like something you might find on fanfiction.net. Only delightful!

ANYWAY, this week what with the AU and the amnesia it has gotten EVEN WORSE, and I am fully convinced that the Bones writers are getting their plot ideas from some list of fanfic plots. So I thought I would compare Bonez episodes to a list of fanfic cliches which I would find in one google. IT WAS NOT THAT EASY. Apparently lists are very fandom specific? LAME. But fear not, I have cobbled together my own list from various sources:

crossover (4x25)
genderswap
bodyswap
amnesia (4x26)
heat wave (leads to sex)
huddling together for warmth
undercover as a couple
forced to share a bed
high school reunion
aliens/whoever made them do it
mpreg
truth or dare/poker/various other games (when i was eleven, i wrote a story in which ADULTS played zap!, an elementary/middle school game where you write a time of day on the top of someone's hand and the name of a person on the bottom, and if you looked before the time you have to kiss/ask out the person)
mary sues
pregnancy (4x25, kind of?)
babyfic (3x12, also kind of)
apocalypse fic
telepathic soulbonding
hurt/comfort
cancer(/other illness, i guess? ...i read a lot of x-files fanfiction, so i default to cancerfic) (4x25/4x26)
christening the new car(/spaceship/whatever)
arranged marriage
time travel
mistletoe (3x09)
character turns into a child
alternate universe (4x26)
drunkfic
curtainfic (is apparently fandom's term for domestic fluff, i.e. characters shopping for curtains. the more you know!)
vacation!
dramatic near-death confession of love
trapped in a small space together (i suppose you could count the gravedigger episodes, but... also no. because it does not follow the "...and then they have sex" corollary")
arranged date (3x10)
everyone celebrates the author's favorite holiday! in style! (1x09, 3x05, 3x09)
someone is secretly a virgin
an ex returns (1x08)
quarantine! (1x09)
everyone is gay
someone who was dead is not actually dead (3x15)
someone has a tragic/traumatic childhood (booth and brennan both!)

(NEXT SEASON ON BONES-- that whole amnesia thing was a DeadAlive fakeout (GOTCHA, BONES) and everything goes back to normal until Jared Booth dies in an explosion, and Booth is really sad, so Brennan suggests they do half-naked yoga as therapy (Sweets, of course, thinks this is an awesome plan). But then Booth makes eyes at another girl for like, ten minutes, and Brennan gets jealous. And then the have sex. But she dismisses it as an experiment until their son time travels back from the future, and everyone is quizzical, and Brennan ends up having a conversation with her future self about her feelings for Booth. Then Brennan gets forced into marriage with a man she ~does not love~ to save her father's honor and Booth realizes, tragically, as he watches her marry another man, that she is the one true love of his life. They break up a couple episodes later (after ANGST ANGST ANGST), but the experience leaves her shaken and she doesn't want to get into a relationship with Booth. He, in turn, is ~so in love with her~ now that he can't deal, so he requests a transfer. Except, you see, they are soulbonded now, and living in each other's daydreams. So that kind of didn't work. Anyway they solve a crime together by chance, and Brennan kisses him and says she wants him back. AND THEN THEY FIND OUT THEY HAVE A BABY, who was genetically engineered by their enemies. But she is theirs! But then she dies. Meanwhile Cam is awesome and has a daughter, and Angela and Hodgins probably engage in some will they won't they.)

But anyway, is the reason I can't relate this stuff back to season 1 and 2 as much because I don't remember it as well [I've only seen the series once, and I've pretty much only rewatched, like, Aliens in a Spaceship] or because it wasn't actually as fanficcy back then? INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW. (And this list is a rough work in progress-- if you have a trope to add, whether it relates back to Bonez or not, tell me.)

IN OTHER NEWS, it is really weird to me that the new Star Trek movie (which I haven't seen) is apparently so awesome? A bunch of my real life friends LOVED IT. And you guys too. BUT IT'S AWESOME, because my only pipe dream for this movie was that it would make the franchise cool enough again that I might, theoretically, have a fraction of a chance of getting my Bryan Fuller-helmed Trek series. And also because I am SO SICK OF STAR WARS BEING GEEK CHIC, EW >:(

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ALEX I AM DISAPPOINTED THAT YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THE STAR TREK MOVIE YET. I have seen it 3 times already ngl. I am SUCH A LOSER, the first time it showed a spaceship my brother and I were seriously in awe. And we kept like grinning really hard for no good reason other than WE JUST REALLY LIKE SPACE A LOT. I was never that attached to TOS (I really don't know anything beyond character names) either and tbh I think that makes it better. Jon wants to buy DS9 on DVD and I am very okay with this, I know he'll never go for Voyager though. :( He always denies ever liking it, which btw, is A TOTAL FUCKING LIE. I didn't like TNG that much either but I a) shipped Troi/Riker even though I didn't like Riker as a character, b) was obsessed with the First Contact movie, and c) really liked Geordi LaForge. Also I watched the first X-Men movie because it had Captain Picard in it.

I guess I just really wanted to talk about Star Trek, sorry, that was kind of rambly. ALSO I HAVE A SUPER IMPORTANT QUESTION. You know how you were saying that Enterprise sucks except for the last season? Can I watch the last season without watching the sucky ones? Because I don't want to have to sit through crap tbh.

I KNOW I NEED TO. It's just that I was in Austin that week and now like, ALL MY FRIENDS IN TOWN HAVE SEEN IT. But whatev, I WILL GO SOON, I have to.

I didn't like TNG that much either but I a) shipped Troi/Riker even though I didn't like Riker as a character, b) was obsessed with the First Contact movie, and c) really liked Geordi LaForge. Also I watched the first X-Men movie because it had Captain Picard in it.
UM, I MIGHT AS WELL HAVE WRITTEN THIS SENTENCE. Riker is really boring :(

I thiiiiiiink so? I mean I still haven't seen more than ten episodes from the first seasons. I mean idk, part of me wants to say you should watch the Pilot or something just to get a ~grasp~ on the characters, but I don't even remember it being all that interesting, so maybe not. There are two awesomeish episodes in season 3, though-- Similitude and Twilight (I think there's one other that's good that I haven't seen?). And the first two episodes of s4 are not awesome like the rest of it, Berman and Braga's parting gift to Manny Coto was to make the last five minutes of the s3 finale it shifts from killing Xindi to LOL ARCHER WENT BACK IN TIME AND THERE ARE NAZIS!!!!1!!!!1!! (When it aired, I found this v. accurate comic (http://users.livejournal.com/stay_/13845.html#cutid1).) So you might just want to skip to Home?

Oh I also liked the fact that Data's cat was named Spot. It was a really cute cat. And lol Riker sucks so hard, jesus. So does Crusher and her spawn, and Troi to be honest. I only really like Picard and Geordi and ...maybe others that I cannot remember. DS9 was the shit though, it had really good books/characters. Voyager and DS9 books were the best, all the TNG ones I read were horrible except maybe two or three. And funnily enough the one I remember liking was about Geordi, or at least he was a main character in it.

I will keep that in mind! I really feel like watching some kind of Star Trek and one season is manageable since I don't have that much spare time at the moment.

YES!!! I really only liked Geordi, though, not even Picard. Well, Data. And Guinan was cool? I neverrrrrr read TNG books though.

I was going to be all "why, work?" and then I realized YOU ARE PRESUMABLY STILL IN SCHOOL. Wow, ick, I am sorry, you must be crawling walls, counting days until graduation.

The book I liked had a plot/subplot thing about him making friends with a little blind girl and it was really qt. And then something happened and he had to do something because him being blind was like advantageous? I DON'T REMEMBER. But I liked it a lot.

UGH SCHOOL CAN DIAF. I'm finished with AP tests so I watched four movies today, I am not kidding. I've watched 6 this week total and I'm watching two more next week, I'm pretty sure. And ALL of my teachers are like, END OF YEAR PROJECT TIME :D :D :D!!! I HATE THEM ALL.

LOL @ your detailed recollection. BUT AWW.

TEACHERS ALWAYS DO THAT. It... is pretty crap. How did all your APs go?

LOL IK IK. I haven't read it in like 8 years, okay. I kinda want to find it though, seriously. It was good. I AM IN THE MOOD TO READ STAR TREK, IDK WHY. This happened at the end of summer with Voyager but now I feel like reading DS9 and that one TNG book lololol.

Well I failed Physics, French, and Economics, but I was always going to fail those. I have honestly NO CLUE how I did on Government, and I think/hope I did well on English and European History.

Do you still have all your old books?

French Lang, not Lit, right? THAT ONE IS KILLER. That fucking taped oral is AWFUL >:( Yuckkkkkk, though, I hate how long the waiting period for getting your APs is. BUT I'M SURE YOU DID BETTER THAN YOU THINK.

Yeah, I found where my mom had put them and they're all in the upstairs tv room. We have SO MANY, lol, because my brother bought a lot of the TNG ones (there are like a million I swear) for some reason. I think we're only missing a couple of Voyager ones, unless they've made new ones. THERE IS A NOVELIZATION OF THE NEW MOVIE, I MUST HAVE IT.

I AM SURE I DID NOT, I left almost all of the free response blank. And the French one was HORRIBLE, it started out with the listening and I pretty much gave up within the first five seconds. I didn't even try to write an essay. I was expecting it though, my teacher is awful and we didn't speak French THE ENTIRE YEAR. I learned more in French 1 with a different teacher than I did in French 2-4.

PS. at some point you need to get on gmail chat because I need to bitch about something because I am a bitch.

my only trek tag is voyager, but this does not mention voyager. idk what to do with myself.

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