little chakotay in the big woods
Jun. 26th, 2009 10:29 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
elapsesOMG YOU GUYS WE JUST WATCHED
AND THIS SHIT IS HILARIOUS.
THE FIRST STEP IN ANY FRONTIER MAN'S WOOING MANUAL IS TO BUILD A GIRL A BATHTUB.
But Chakotay was tragically relegated inside to make sandpaintings during the naked parts.
Hmmmmmm... too obvious? Maybe next time I should try something less naked if I want her naked with me.
"HEY KATHRYN... DO YOU REALIZE... THAT WE ARE GOING TO BE ON THIS PLANET... ALONE... TOGETHER... FOREVER?"
"Yes?"
"Hey Chakotay, whatcha doin'?"
"Building you a headboard, because I know you like to read in bed...
...it's just how I am...
...making you things, cooking for you, wearing adorable woodsman britches for your viewing pleasure, being the man of your dreams? :D?"
"That's really sweet Chakotay! I'm going to go collect some bugs, k?"
I'm actually the last man on the planet and she'd still rather do science experiments than fuck me. FML
"Hey Chakotay, you know what...
My outfit is disgusting and this sucks a little less than camping."
:D :D :D
(OH GOD YOU GUYS SERIOUSLY, these caps don't do his justice, but his whole face LIGHTS UP, IT'S THE FUNNIEST THING.)
Now, the lady has not responded to the bathtub, the headboard, the cooking, the time he saved her from the plasma storm, his numerous reminders that they are the only two people on this planet and will be ~for the rest of their lives~, or his offer to build her a log cabin. CLEARLY IT'S...
BACKRUB TIME!
"Chakotay, is that a phaser in your pocket, or are you just... uh... oh."
FML
OKAY THIS NEXT PART IS LEGIT DIALOGUE, I... cannot make it any funnier than it already was:
""I'm not sure I can...define peramaters. But I can tell you a story, an acient legend among my people. Its about an angry warrior who lived his life in conflict with the rest of his tribe, a man who couldn't find peace even with the help of his spirit guide. For years he stuggled with his discontent, but the only satisfaction he ever got came when he was in battle. This made him a hero among his tribe, but the warrior still longed for peace within himself. One day he and his war party were captured by a neighboring tribe, lead by a woman warrior. She called on him to join her, because her tribe was too small and weak to defend itself from all its enimies. The woman warrior was brave, and beautiful, and very wise. The angry warrior swore to himself that he would stay by her side, doing whatever he could to make her burden lighter. From that point on her needs would come first; and in that way, the warrior began to know the true meaning of peace."
AAAAAAAAAAAND THEN THEY (PROBABLY) HAD SEX. Mission accomplished, Chakotay! You darn talented half-pint, you!
Oh, and C-Catherine? I... have a present for you.
AND THIS SHIT IS HILARIOUS.
THE FIRST STEP IN ANY FRONTIER MAN'S WOOING MANUAL IS TO BUILD A GIRL A BATHTUB.
But Chakotay was tragically relegated inside to make sandpaintings during the naked parts.
Hmmmmmm... too obvious? Maybe next time I should try something less naked if I want her naked with me.
"HEY KATHRYN... DO YOU REALIZE... THAT WE ARE GOING TO BE ON THIS PLANET... ALONE... TOGETHER... FOREVER?"
"Yes?"
"Hey Chakotay, whatcha doin'?"
"Building you a headboard, because I know you like to read in bed...
...it's just how I am...
...making you things, cooking for you, wearing adorable woodsman britches for your viewing pleasure, being the man of your dreams? :D?"
"That's really sweet Chakotay! I'm going to go collect some bugs, k?"
I'm actually the last man on the planet and she'd still rather do science experiments than fuck me. FML
"Hey Chakotay, you know what...
:D :D :D
(OH GOD YOU GUYS SERIOUSLY, these caps don't do his justice, but his whole face LIGHTS UP, IT'S THE FUNNIEST THING.)
Now, the lady has not responded to the bathtub, the headboard, the cooking, the time he saved her from the plasma storm, his numerous reminders that they are the only two people on this planet and will be ~for the rest of their lives~, or his offer to build her a log cabin. CLEARLY IT'S...
BACKRUB TIME!
"Chakotay, is that a phaser in your pocket, or are you just... uh... oh."
FML
OKAY THIS NEXT PART IS LEGIT DIALOGUE, I... cannot make it any funnier than it already was:
""I'm not sure I can...define peramaters. But I can tell you a story, an acient legend among my people. Its about an angry warrior who lived his life in conflict with the rest of his tribe, a man who couldn't find peace even with the help of his spirit guide. For years he stuggled with his discontent, but the only satisfaction he ever got came when he was in battle. This made him a hero among his tribe, but the warrior still longed for peace within himself. One day he and his war party were captured by a neighboring tribe, lead by a woman warrior. She called on him to join her, because her tribe was too small and weak to defend itself from all its enimies. The woman warrior was brave, and beautiful, and very wise. The angry warrior swore to himself that he would stay by her side, doing whatever he could to make her burden lighter. From that point on her needs would come first; and in that way, the warrior began to know the true meaning of peace."
AAAAAAAAAAAND THEN THEY (PROBABLY) HAD SEX. Mission accomplished, Chakotay! You darn talented half-pint, you!
Oh, and C-Catherine? I... have a present for you.
