girls just wanna have fun
Jun. 12th, 2008 01:30 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
elapsesYou know those obnoxious picspams that are more words than picspamming? I, um, yeah. Sorry. This is mostly spoilery for the show, but there's movie stuff under the cut as well, so. Yes.
I. SAMANTHA
Weirdly enough, Samantha Jones has gotten to "I love you" more often than both Charlotte (two) and Miranda (twoish) -- but uh, I don't care about anyone but Smith (!!!!!!!!)? There was that guy James in seasons 1/2, who was cute but a horrible lay, hence ending that relationship -- which lasted awhiiiiiiiile for Sam, despite the tiny peen sex, and I haaaaaated Richard, and have no real desire to acknowledge his existence, except for maybe this scene:
Anyway:
Smith
I LOVE THIS BOY SO MUCH, I don't even really have words for it. SO NO WORDS:
He was so, SO right for her. And being right for Samantha Jones is no simple task. She's stubborn and complicated and determined to avoid emotional attatchment, but he's patient and forgiving and just just just. I LOVE HIM.
Re: their breakup in the movie -- it fit, but it broke my heart.
II. MIRANDA
Steve
Stevie boy (I can't believe I just typed that) is such a mainstay of this show, it's almost funny to think of the first time he appeared:
One of the things I like best about Miranda and Steve is that when they break up, it's always for exceedingly rational reasons -- and yet, they end up overcoming them? It's... sweet.
Do you think they would've eventually found their way back to each other if it hadn't been for the baby? I mean, obviously there's something between them that transcends Brady -- they're a bit like Carrie and Big in their funny inability to let the other one leave their life completely -- but I wonder if they would've acknowledged it if they hadn't had the baby to keep them together the way he did. Hmm.
You know who else I liked, though? Robert. He was preeeeeetty, and sweet, and even though Steve was the right one for Miranda (and Robert was mostly there to reiterate that) I kind of regret not getting more of him. Or maybe I regret that there weren't two parallel universe Mirandas -- one who went to furfill her family destiny with Steve, and one who fell in love with the pretty, pretty black man.
So, um, there is a possibility that I am a shallow girl who just likes looking at pretty men. Maybe.:
III. CHARLOTTE
Trey
I don't think you need to mention anything but this scene:
Harry
I want to make a blanket statement about Charlotte's journey vs. the journies of the other girls -- she had the farthest to go, she changed the most, she managed to let go of her misgivings more -- but it wouldn't be true. They all changed, they all grew, and you can't really quantify or qualify the girls' roads to discovery against each other. They were so different and they are so different. But Charlotte's was a big deal for her -- all those years she spent searching for the perfect man, the perfect love, the perfect husband -- she never stepped outside her type, and she never expected anything less than perfection from her potential mates. For the girl who always believed most in love, she was, really, the one who understood it least. And so it's fitting that her perfect man -- Trey McDougal -- was so imperfect, and her gross slob of a fuck buddy turned out to be the love of her life.
This scene, more than anything, illuminates how he grounded her:
IV. CARRIE
Let us not pretend to care about Petrovsky and Berger -- we've got enough to delve into without them, and they both turned out to be incompatible with Carrie because of her career -- which is universally uncool. So:
Aidan
Oh, Aidan. Oh Aidan Aidan Aidan.
Um, before I get into anything, LADIES AND... LADIES, I dare you to tell me this is not your dream boyfriend:
SERIOUSLY, HE CALLS HER POP TART. And lady! And darling! And ladybird! And cooks her dinner! And sands her floors! And proposes not in a fancy restaurant, but on the street, while he's walking the dog? And says things like I have another 13 hours before I have to turn in this tux, let's get on a plane to Vegas and get married? And is adorable! And wonderful! HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY NOT WANT AN AIDAN??
They were so... something together. They had that zsa zsa zu. But. Well. To quote an email![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
coast sent me the other day (because I'm lazy, and she talks pretty):
But that desperate need for forgiveness is one of the most prominent things about Carrie's personality -- look at how she goes after Natasha for forgiveness. Look at how she has to have a private conversation with Nina Katz after "the face". She is a girl who genuinely CANNOT DEAL with being disliked -- even when she deserves it. And look at her (second) pursuit of Aidan:
She's so BLITHE in this scene. So "hey, you liiiiiiike me, I think? Maybe? C'mon?" in such a casual way and it's so NOT OKAY. You can't act like that to a guy after you cheat on him with your ex-boyfriend. She doesn't even really have the right to be persistant. "I know that you're scared"???? I just -- there's going after you want, and then there's this. This is too much. Oh, Carrie Bradshaw. You did not deserve that boy, or his big heart, or his ugly shirt.
Jenn's second point:
I don't know why I'm pretending I'm adding anything to this discussion. More of Jenn's thoughts:
Big
So um, I thought one of the most interesting things about the movie was that they showed us Big's motivations. I mean, on the one hand, they couldn't not give him a reason upfront to welsh on the wedding (he would have been, as I said in an email, a bag of irredeemable douche) -- it would have been unforgivable after allllllllll those years and all those messes if they hadn't set it up properly, but on the other, his entire purpose in the series was (arguably) that he was always juuuuust out of reach. You never understood him, he just... was. It was weird to have his... feelings right out there. Although, in a symbolic sense, I guess it makes sense -- we finally get his name, we finally get his feelings.
But anyway, I like thinking about fictional people and how they think, so I went into my rewatch with John James Preston in mind. And here is the thing: I don't think he did anything wrong in season 1. They (first relationship Carrie and Big) have this pattern of angst/release. Carrie stews over the issue of a week for a awhile (is he ashamed of me, he was married before, oh my god I farted in bed), she finally lets all the angst out at once, and he always has a pretty rational reaction to her neuroses. And Carrie is so so so determined to be the perfect version of herself ("together Carrie") -- that she isn't actually herself. I just -- and I might be being crazy -- I don't think, in the events leading up to the first breakup, he was the unreasonable one:
I guess it really all does come down to time frame. For the months described here, I don't know, I don't think you can expect someone to know you're "the one". But in the second season opener they state the relationship lasted a year -- which, yes, I do see needing some sort of vocal acknowledgement. But I don't know -- that kind of ultimatum before "I love you"? Before she's even really let go of "perfect Carrie"??? Perfect Carrie and her outfits and those stupid phrases she saves for when he opens the door for her?? How is anyone supposed to know Carrie's the one without ever really knowing Carrie???
Youuuuu know, it's funny. As much as Aidan wasn't the one for her, she was much more herself much earlier on in that relationship. Food for thought.
Anyway, Big did turn out to be a commitment-phobic crazy, so I don't know why I'm bothering to hash this out. But I do have a second point about him and his motivations: Natasha. He doesn't seem to take marriage lightly -- I mean, after the first failure he does declare he's never going through it ever again, and his entire -- can you call it a character arc? -- in the movie is centered on the fact that this is his third marriage. He doesn't seem like the sort of man who would just rush into a marriage, but that's what it feels like with Natasha, considering he's gallivanting around with Carrie not all that long after he says "I do", but... there must've been something there, for him to decide to marry her after a much, much shorter amount of time than he even spent with Carrie. He must've loved her. He had them play "When A Man Loves A Woman". I mean, wouldn't you like some teeny little glimpse into the emotional climate of their Parisian courtship?? I would. But I suppose he was never supposed to completely lose his shroud of mystery.
I think it's super interesting how differently everyone perceives the men (and the women) of the show, though. My sister and I always agreed when we were first watching, but glancing at this article, EVERY SINGLE MAN is both loved and hated. The disparity is fascinating.
Just as a concluding thought, since I've just rambled about the boys SO DAMN MUCH when the girls are the true center of the show -- I think the reason this show means so much to me, in the end, is that it is the closest thing on television to the life I life. Not on the surface -- I'm obviously not a fabulous NYC girl with her own ginormous apartment and god knows how many pairs of designer footwear -- but the heart -- four girls who love each other unconditionally, sitting at a coffee shop, deconstructing every relationship they have? That's what my friends and I do, and that's what girls everywhere do. If you take away the pomp and circumstance, it's very very true to life.
So um, a week in to ankle sprain #3, and I've already broken an ankle brace. I knew it was coming -- Vivian and I had to do x-treme duct tape surgery on Sunday, but aaaaaaugh.
AND AND AND: happy (belated) birthday,allibabab!!! (Um, for the record, this post has been stewing in semagic for awhile -- when I started it, it WAS your birthday.) I know our LJ friendship is only a couple of months old, but DUDE, how right were we about being random soulmates?? I hope you ended up having a woooooonderful day.
P.S.book_babe: I am a horrible person who is going to the post office ASAP. Tomorrow.
I. SAMANTHA
Weirdly enough, Samantha Jones has gotten to "I love you" more often than both Charlotte (two) and Miranda (twoish) -- but uh, I don't care about anyone but Smith (!!!!!!!!)? There was that guy James in seasons 1/2, who was cute but a horrible lay, hence ending that relationship -- which lasted awhiiiiiiiile for Sam, despite the tiny peen sex, and I haaaaaated Richard, and have no real desire to acknowledge his existence, except for maybe this scene:
Carrie: Hey, didn't we make a rule about those things at lunch?
Samantha: It's my boss, I have to take it. Samantha Jones. Richard, it's Sunday. Fine. I'll see you in an hour. He wants me to drop something off this afternoon.
Carrie: Nice. A little skyrockets in flight afternoon delight?
Samantha: No, it's just work.
Charlotte: Hardly, you're sleeping with him!
Samantha: You told them?
Carrie: I also like to gossip on the phone while secretly pumusing calluses.
Miranda: So how is he? And spare no detail, I'm a horny pregnant person.
Samantha: I don't want to talk about it.
Girls: Woo-wooooooo...
Carrie: Samantha likes a gu-uy, Samantha likes a guy!
Samantha: I do not.
Charlotte: You do, you do or you would tell us all the dirty details.
Miranda: Oh my god, we're going to have to ice skate home. Hell just froze over.
Anyway:
I LOVE THIS BOY SO MUCH, I don't even really have words for it. SO NO WORDS:
He was so, SO right for her. And being right for Samantha Jones is no simple task. She's stubborn and complicated and determined to avoid emotional attatchment, but he's patient and forgiving and just just just. I LOVE HIM.
Re: their breakup in the movie -- it fit, but it broke my heart.
II. MIRANDA
Stevie boy (I can't believe I just typed that) is such a mainstay of this show, it's almost funny to think of the first time he appeared:
Miranda: I'll have another glass of wine.
Steve: Please.
Miranda: Please what?
Steve: I'll have another glass of wine, please.
Miranda: Um, are you allowed to talk to me like that?
Steve: Yeah, I think I am. Enjoy.
Miranda: Thank you.
Steve: Steve. Thank you, Steve.
Miranda: Look, that's really very cute, but I'm not really in the mood.
Steve: I'm not really in the mood, Steve.
Miranda: I'm not a total bitch, I just had a fight with somebody.
Steve: Yeah, I heard. Boyfriend?
Miranda: That's none of your business!
Steve: Girlfriend? Butcher!
Miranda: Butcher?
Steve: The veal. I took a shot.
Miranda: What are you reading?
Steve: Enjoy bartending, Hemingway.
Miranda: So what, you're funny?
Steve: Whoa whoa whoa whoa, slow down, that's a nice cote de Rome. Enjoy. Nah, it's on me.
Miranda: And why would that be?
Steve: A bribe, so you'll hang out and talk. If you leave, I'll have to listen to those NYU kids with the Amstel Lights discuss Fiona Apple. I'm begging you.
Steve: So um, that was really special.
Miranda: Sure. Is that your shirt over there?
Steve: Yeah. So can I get your phone number?
Miranda: Why?
Steve: To call you up and ask you for a date.
Miranda: Look...
Steve: Steve. Look, Steve.
Miranda: You don't have to do this. You don't have to make believe you're gonna call. Let's just call this what this was, a one night stand.
Steve: You're a real pisser. Stop by the bar, see me sometime.
Miranda: Okay, whatever. Thanks. Bye. Great sex!
(Voiceover: And just like that, Miranda left denial.)Isn't it funny, considering how much Miranda always disliked Big, how much her relationship with the actual love of her life is dependent on him? If Carrie hadn't ditched Miranda for Big in the first place, their one night wouldn't've happened, and if Big hadn't (briefly) restored her faith in the male gender, she wouldn't have run after him. Something to think about.
Miranda: Steve. Steve! Maybe I can believe it.
(Voiceover: From that night on, promiscuous women everywhere would tell the tale of the one-night stand that turned into a relationship.)
One of the things I like best about Miranda and Steve is that when they break up, it's always for exceedingly rational reasons -- and yet, they end up overcoming them? It's... sweet.
(Voiceover: That Sunday afternoon, Miranda was sitting at home, enjoying a biscotti and the paper, when there it was -- her ex's head.)(Steve kind of puts a hilarious amount of emphasis on his first name.)
Steve: I hear you breathing.
Miranda: Yeah. Uh. Hi.
Steve: That was a shitty shitty thing you did, running away from me on the street.
Miranda: I didn't run!
Steve: You ran.
Miranda: Well, I wasn't expecting to see you and --
Steve: It really hurt my feelings.
Miranda: Well, I don't do very well with ex-boyfriends, and --
Steve: Miranda, this is me. Steve.
Miranda: Yeah.
Steve: I held your head while you were sleeping.
Miranda: I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
Steve: It's okay, it's okay.
Miranda: I just, I hadn't seen you in so long, and I missed you, and then I did that shitty thing!
Steve: It wasn't that shitty, really.
Miranda: It was! It was a shitty thing! I'm a shitty person!
Steve: You're not a shitty person.
Miranda: I am! I am shitty. You would never do anything that shitty.
Steve: What about showing up at your apartment in the middle of the afternoon and calling you shitty?
Miranda: Yeah, that was pretty shitty.
Steve: You got a bat in the cave.
Miranda: I miss you. Whenever something funny happens, I always want to tell you about it.
Steve: So tell me! Just because we didn't make it as a couple doesn't mean we can't have a friendly meal every once and awhile, does it?
Miranda: I guess not.
Steve: So what are you doing Friday?
Miranda: I have a date.
Steve: Looking forward to it, are you?
Do you think they would've eventually found their way back to each other if it hadn't been for the baby? I mean, obviously there's something between them that transcends Brady -- they're a bit like Carrie and Big in their funny inability to let the other one leave their life completely -- but I wonder if they would've acknowledged it if they hadn't had the baby to keep them together the way he did. Hmm.
(Voiceover: A couple of weeks later, another couple of exes were working out their summer share.)And of course:
Miranda: Hi. How you doin'?
Steve: Hey. Me and Brady were just napping.
Miranda I miss napping. They look down on napping at work. Ohhhh, it's so hot out.
Steve: I was gonna give him one more bottle before I left.
Miranda: I can do it.
Steve: I know. I like it. It used to be all breasts, now me and him, we got our bottle thing.
Miranda: Did Magda bring those?
Steve: No, I did. Mass garden in Queen's.
Miranda: Oh, lilacs.
Steve: Yeah. Good flowers.
(Voiceover: Miranda wasn't sure if it was the smell of the lilacs, the smell of the baby, or the smell of Steve's skin. But that afternoon, Steve went from ex to sex.)
Steve: Hold up, hold up. Forget those wimpy little ones. See what I got here? Look at that. Huh?
Miranda: I love you. I love you, Steve. I'm sorry! I should never have said that, it's just that... I love you and I fucked everything up and now it's too late! I'm sorry I'm doing this, I'm sorry, please don't look at me.
Steve: I love you too.
Miranda: You do?
Steve: I mean, c'mon.
Miranda: What about Debbie?
Steve: I know, but... Miranda, you're the one.
You know who else I liked, though? Robert. He was preeeeeetty, and sweet, and even though Steve was the right one for Miranda (and Robert was mostly there to reiterate that) I kind of regret not getting more of him. Or maybe I regret that there weren't two parallel universe Mirandas -- one who went to furfill her family destiny with Steve, and one who fell in love with the pretty, pretty black man.
So, um, there is a possibility that I am a shallow girl who just likes looking at pretty men. Maybe.:
III. CHARLOTTE
I don't think you need to mention anything but this scene:
Anthony: Gordon, it's just going to be --It's the perfect metaphor for what Charlotte's first marriage taught her.
Trey: Alrighty, are we ready for the picture?
Anthony: -- one minute.
Charlotte: Trey, you don't have to --
Trey: No, this is important to you. I at least want to do this.
Photographer: Handsome husband, beautiful wife... having breakfast!
Gordon: Smile.
(Voiceover: Trey had moved out by the time the magazine was on the stands, but all over America, little girls in their mother's pearls saw the picture and thought "that's what I want".)
Charlotte: A zebra skin rug?
Harry: Hey, I told you he was a bachelor.
Charlotte: But a bar in the bedroom?
Harry: Ohhhhh, you ain't seen nothing yet. Ta-daaaaa!
Charlotte: Ewww.
Harry: Oooooh.
Charlotte: Well you seem to know your way around here.
Harry: Oh yeah, I sublet while I was going through my divorce. Wait wait wait wait wait. Surround sound.
Charlotte: I can't believe that men think it takes all this stuff to get a woman into bed.
Harry: What does it take? Charlotte.
Charlotte: What?
Harry: I think you are the sexiest woman I ever met.
Charlotte: Harry! Don't be ridiculous, I'm wearing my glasses.
Harry: I makes me crazy when you say my name.
Charlotte: Well then I'm definitely gonna stop saying it.
Harry: What a putz your ex-husband must be.
Charlotte: Trey was not a putz!
Harry: He was a putz! If I was lucky enough to have you in my bed, I wouldn't be able to take my hands off you.
Charlotte: Stop, Harry.
Harry: Ever since the first time I saw you, I can't think about anything else, I'm like, I'm fucking Romeo over here.
Charlotte: God, it's hot, I'm sweating, can you open a window?
Harry: I fantasize about your lips. Your perfect pink lips.
Harry: I love making love to you.Is there anything funnier than listening to Charlotte try and pull a Samantha?
Charlotte: No. That was not love. That was just sex.
Harry: Charlotte, you are so beautiful. Your skin is so soft, so smooth.
Charlotte: And you... have a hard dick. Now, put on your pants on, and go. ...is that okay?
Harry: Whatever you say.
(Voiceover: There they were: the bachelorette and the beast.)
Harry: What about dinner? Saturday night?
Charlotte: Hey, this is just sex. We are not a couple, you're just... a great fuck. Is that clear?
Harry: Clear.
Charlotte: I'm seeing some one... sort of...
Carrie: You're in a "sort of" relationship?
Charlotte: It's ridiculous, he's so not my type.
Miranda: Is he heterosexual?
Charlotte: Yes. But he's bald! And short! And he talks with his mouth full! And I don't even want to be seen in public with him. And I hate his name -- Harry, because he is! Everywhere but his head.
Samantha: Wow. Is the sex bad too?
Charlotte: It's the best sex of my life. I think I might really like him.
Harry: What, now you want me to wax my eyebrows?
Charlotte: I think I may be falling in love with you.
Harry: I've been falling for you since the moment we met. But I never thought...
Charlotte: What?
Harry: Come on, you could have any blue-blooded guy here. I'm --
Charlotte: You're wonderful.
Harry: And Jewish.
Charlotte: So?
Harry: So, where can this go?
Charlotte: I don't know. Let's find out.
Harry: Charlotte, I have to marry a Jew.
Charlotte: She can marry a gay guy and you can't marry an Episcopalian? What do we do now?
Harry: I don't know. Dance?
I want to make a blanket statement about Charlotte's journey vs. the journies of the other girls -- she had the farthest to go, she changed the most, she managed to let go of her misgivings more -- but it wouldn't be true. They all changed, they all grew, and you can't really quantify or qualify the girls' roads to discovery against each other. They were so different and they are so different. But Charlotte's was a big deal for her -- all those years she spent searching for the perfect man, the perfect love, the perfect husband -- she never stepped outside her type, and she never expected anything less than perfection from her potential mates. For the girl who always believed most in love, she was, really, the one who understood it least. And so it's fitting that her perfect man -- Trey McDougal -- was so imperfect, and her gross slob of a fuck buddy turned out to be the love of her life.
This scene, more than anything, illuminates how he grounded her:
Harry: Out of all the synagogues in all the cities, you had to walk into mine.That really is what Charlotte needed. A love that meant more to her than marriage.
Charlotte: Harry.
Harry: How you been?
Charlotte: Not good. I miss you. And... being away from you only made it all the more clear how much I love you.
Harry: Charlotte...
Charlotte: Wait. Let me finish. I don't care if you ever marry me, I just want to be with you. I would be lucky to have you. So if you could find some way to forgive me, if you could just... call me? Or, just, ask me out again?
Harry: Well that's not good enough. Charlotte York, will you marry me?
Charlotte: Yes, yes I'll marry you.
Miranda: Thank you for coming.You know, when you have girls who love each other as deeply as these four do -- they're their own little familial unit, and this scene -- for me, anyway -- cements Harry's permanent place in that unit. On that note, one of my faaaavorite scenes in the movie was at the engagement party -- Harry, Samantha, Smith, and Big hanging outside together -- because three or four years later, they are all part of that family.
Harry: Of course.
Miranda: How is she?
Harry: The same. Just... stares at the TV. She said she wasn't strong enough to come. I don't know what to do.
Miranda: She'll be okay, she just has to feel it. Come on, there's food.
IV. CARRIE
Let us not pretend to care about Petrovsky and Berger -- we've got enough to delve into without them, and they both turned out to be incompatible with Carrie because of her career -- which is universally uncool. So:
Oh, Aidan. Oh Aidan Aidan Aidan.
Um, before I get into anything, LADIES AND... LADIES, I dare you to tell me this is not your dream boyfriend:
SERIOUSLY, HE CALLS HER POP TART. And lady! And darling! And ladybird! And cooks her dinner! And sands her floors! And proposes not in a fancy restaurant, but on the street, while he's walking the dog? And says things like I have another 13 hours before I have to turn in this tux, let's get on a plane to Vegas and get married? And is adorable! And wonderful! HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY NOT WANT AN AIDAN??
They were so... something together. They had that zsa zsa zu. But. Well. To quote an email
coast sent me the other day (because I'm lazy, and she talks pretty):I suppose the biggest thing that struck me was Carrie's relationship with Aidan. After cheating on him with Big the previous season, she suddenly decides that she wants him back. Because I have always loved Carrie (or at least held a soft spot for her when I didn't love what she was doing at the time), I don't know if I exactly trust her judgment and reasoning for wanting Aidan back. Was it because she knew he didn't forgive her, and she wanted to get her own way? Was it to ease her own conscience because of what she'd done to him? Or did she actually miss him, and their relationship? It was just so hard to figure out. Maybe it was a bit of all three.There is a part of me -- most of me -- that wants to say it was all that she straight up missed him -- I meaaaaaan, look at the way they are together! How could you not miss that? How could you not love him?
But that desperate need for forgiveness is one of the most prominent things about Carrie's personality -- look at how she goes after Natasha for forgiveness. Look at how she has to have a private conversation with Nina Katz after "the face". She is a girl who genuinely CANNOT DEAL with being disliked -- even when she deserves it. And look at her (second) pursuit of Aidan:
Carrie: You're not seriously smoking that, are you?
Aidan: Is that all you can carry, Carrie?
Carrie: Now I can't eat my cake.
Aidan: Sure you can. Here.
Carrie: Now you got your fingers all in it -- ah! That's my cake!
Aidan: So now you want the cake.
Carrie: I never not wanted it.
Aidan: Okay lady, you take the cake.
Carrie: You cut your hair.
Aidan: You have frosting on your lip.
Steve: Hey, it's time for out toast.
Carrie: I thought you were the silent partner.
Aidan: Glad you came.
Carrie: Hi again, you.
Aidan: You haven't been out here since I went up, have you?
Carrie: No -- no. No no no no no, I went home.
Aidan: Y- and you came back?
Carrie: Yeah, I came back. See, I think -- no, I feel fairly certain that there is still something between us.
Aidan: I had a nice time tonight. With you. I did. But I just -- I wanna leave it at that.
Carrie: Well -- can I come up and... talk to you for a few minutes?
Aidan: Uh, I don't think that's a good idea.
Carrie: Because of what might happen?
Aidan: Because it's... not a good time.
Carrie: Look, I know that you're probably scared and I would be too but it's different now. Things are different -- I'm different. In fact, in fact wait a second -- in fact -- cigarettes? Gone. Seriously, all bad habits -- gone, this is a whole thing because I have -- I miss you. And I've missed you. And it's not just because you look so good and you do and you should know that but I lie in bed and I think about us and I think about you holding me and --
Aidan: YOU BROKE MY HEART.
She's so BLITHE in this scene. So "hey, you liiiiiiike me, I think? Maybe? C'mon?" in such a casual way and it's so NOT OKAY. You can't act like that to a guy after you cheat on him with your ex-boyfriend. She doesn't even really have the right to be persistant. "I know that you're scared"???? I just -- there's going after you want, and then there's this. This is too much. Oh, Carrie Bradshaw. You did not deserve that boy, or his big heart, or his ugly shirt.
Jenn's second point:
I thought the fact that she and Big would even try to have a friendship was a bit preposterous, not to mention indicative of such a "have your cake and eat it too" mentality. While I understand her reluctance to give up contact with him altogether, after everything that happened, I don't think it would have been such a bad idea for the time being. ESPECIALLY when Aidan decided to give her another chance. I was sort of amazed at how much she put Aidan through, or rather, how much he put up with from her. Having Big call the house is one thing, but when he came up to the cabin in Suffern? Hell no.Youuuuuuu know, I can buy the Big/Carrie friendship -- in fact I think it helped them along more than anything else -- but, yes, not after Aidan. She didn't have a right to continue that friendship if she was going to continue that relationship. And the fact that she let it come to THEM WRESTLING IN A MUD PIT, however hilarious that might be, it's just -- goddddd, Carrie Bradshaw, what were you thinking???
I don't know why I'm pretending I'm adding anything to this discussion. More of Jenn's thoughts:
Not to mention the fact that she accepted his marriage proposal and let the situation go on SO LONG that when it finally came time to face her choices, she had to break Aidan's heart all over again. That really kills me. Though I know of course it wasn't Carrie's intention to hurt Aidan, saying yes to a marriage proposal is serious business, especially considering all she'd been through with him previously, so I think it would have been better if she would have said "I need to think about it," to Aidan when he asked, rather than just feeling impulsively at the moment that she should accept.Yeah.
So um, I thought one of the most interesting things about the movie was that they showed us Big's motivations. I mean, on the one hand, they couldn't not give him a reason upfront to welsh on the wedding (he would have been, as I said in an email, a bag of irredeemable douche) -- it would have been unforgivable after allllllllll those years and all those messes if they hadn't set it up properly, but on the other, his entire purpose in the series was (arguably) that he was always juuuuust out of reach. You never understood him, he just... was. It was weird to have his... feelings right out there. Although, in a symbolic sense, I guess it makes sense -- we finally get his name, we finally get his feelings.
But anyway, I like thinking about fictional people and how they think, so I went into my rewatch with John James Preston in mind. And here is the thing: I don't think he did anything wrong in season 1. They (first relationship Carrie and Big) have this pattern of angst/release. Carrie stews over the issue of a week for a awhile (is he ashamed of me, he was married before, oh my god I farted in bed), she finally lets all the angst out at once, and he always has a pretty rational reaction to her neuroses. And Carrie is so so so determined to be the perfect version of herself ("together Carrie") -- that she isn't actually herself. I just -- and I might be being crazy -- I don't think, in the events leading up to the first breakup, he was the unreasonable one:
Big: Aren't you the young lady who made all that noise?
Carrie: Slippery gloves. Morning.
Big's Mother: Morning.
Carrie: It's a lovely church.
Big's Mother: Yes, isn't it?
Carrie: Don't you think it's lovely?
Big: Mother, this is my friend, Carrie.
(Voiceover: I searched her face, looking for the light of recognition, but there was nothing.)
Carrie: Carrie Carrie.
Big's Mother: I'm just going to go and say goodbye to the pastor, it was lovely meeting you.
Carrie: "My friend, Carrie"?
Big: You show up at church after I ask you not to, what are you trying to do, test me? I mean, why all the sudden interest in meeting my mother?
Carrie: Well has the woman ever even heard of me?
Big: My mother doesn't need to meet another girlfriend.
Carrie: Oh.
Big: I didn't mean that... that's... I mean, I'll introduce you as my girlfriend when... I'm sure.
Carrie: Oh.
Big: Look, I have to do things on my time frame.
Carrie: Time frame? We've been going out for months. I really... don't know what else to say to you.
Big: We'll get there. You just... have to have a little faith.
Carrie: Faith?
Big: Yeah.
Carrie: I need a sign. You told me to have faith, but, see, um, I'm kinda losing mine so... I need a sign.
Big: What, like in those old religious movies, you want a voice from above?
Carrie: Just tell me I'm the one. You don't have to tell your mother or the whole world, just... just tell me.
Carrie: I can't do this.
Big: Carrie, Carrie. Carrie. Just... get in the car.
Carrie: I can't. I can't. I love you, but I can't.
Big: So that's it?
I guess it really all does come down to time frame. For the months described here, I don't know, I don't think you can expect someone to know you're "the one". But in the second season opener they state the relationship lasted a year -- which, yes, I do see needing some sort of vocal acknowledgement. But I don't know -- that kind of ultimatum before "I love you"? Before she's even really let go of "perfect Carrie"??? Perfect Carrie and her outfits and those stupid phrases she saves for when he opens the door for her?? How is anyone supposed to know Carrie's the one without ever really knowing Carrie???
Youuuuu know, it's funny. As much as Aidan wasn't the one for her, she was much more herself much earlier on in that relationship. Food for thought.
Anyway, Big did turn out to be a commitment-phobic crazy, so I don't know why I'm bothering to hash this out. But I do have a second point about him and his motivations: Natasha. He doesn't seem to take marriage lightly -- I mean, after the first failure he does declare he's never going through it ever again, and his entire -- can you call it a character arc? -- in the movie is centered on the fact that this is his third marriage. He doesn't seem like the sort of man who would just rush into a marriage, but that's what it feels like with Natasha, considering he's gallivanting around with Carrie not all that long after he says "I do", but... there must've been something there, for him to decide to marry her after a much, much shorter amount of time than he even spent with Carrie. He must've loved her. He had them play "When A Man Loves A Woman". I mean, wouldn't you like some teeny little glimpse into the emotional climate of their Parisian courtship?? I would. But I suppose he was never supposed to completely lose his shroud of mystery.
I think it's super interesting how differently everyone perceives the men (and the women) of the show, though. My sister and I always agreed when we were first watching, but glancing at this article, EVERY SINGLE MAN is both loved and hated. The disparity is fascinating.
Just as a concluding thought, since I've just rambled about the boys SO DAMN MUCH when the girls are the true center of the show -- I think the reason this show means so much to me, in the end, is that it is the closest thing on television to the life I life. Not on the surface -- I'm obviously not a fabulous NYC girl with her own ginormous apartment and god knows how many pairs of designer footwear -- but the heart -- four girls who love each other unconditionally, sitting at a coffee shop, deconstructing every relationship they have? That's what my friends and I do, and that's what girls everywhere do. If you take away the pomp and circumstance, it's very very true to life.
So um, a week in to ankle sprain #3, and I've already broken an ankle brace. I knew it was coming -- Vivian and I had to do x-treme duct tape surgery on Sunday, but aaaaaaugh.
AND AND AND: happy (belated) birthday,
allibabab!!! (Um, for the record, this post has been stewing in semagic for awhile -- when I started it, it WAS your birthday.) I know our LJ friendship is only a couple of months old, but DUDE, how right were we about being random soulmates?? I hope you ended up having a woooooonderful day.P.S.
book_babe: I am a horrible person who is going to the post office ASAP. Tomorrow.
