MEET OUR BEAST!!!!!

Sooooooo this summer, goldenmelisande and I decided we would rewatch Star Trek: Voyager. While you were all being normal, productive people, we were gorging ourselves on stupid and delightful space shows! You may or may not recall this: it... was only all I appeared to be capable of posting about in July and August. I'm sure that wasn't embarrassment squicky for any of you.

Anyway! We kept looking at review sites to guide us through our journey -- specifically Jim Wright's and monkee's and two others I can't remember, only to discover that... the ratings other people gave episodes had absolutely no bearing on how much we were going to enjoy the episodes. Because every single one of them rated them based on perceived quality. And like, who on earth watches Voyager for QUALITY TELEVISION? This is a ship that got eaten by giant space worm creatures on TWO SEPARATE OCCASIONS.

So we endeavored to make our own episode guide, in which we rated the episodes based on (what else?) joy. I even stole some pretty stars from... somebody's 2009 movies post so that we could make a lovely scale:

DNW
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Tolerable!
Awesome?
I LOVE EVERYONE IN THIS BAR SHIP
the Salamander award for COMPLETELY RIDICULOUS, would watch again

Naturally this is a completely subjective system that is pretty much only relevant to the two of us since... people are different! And different things bring them joy, I suppose. Weirdos. In fact, one might even say that this guide is irrelevant and useless to any person who is not... me or Catherine. But, for reference, here is a list of all the things that have biased this list:

WE LIKE: all the characters, BASICALLY ANYTHING TO DO WITH B'ELANNA TORRES, Harry Kim being ridiculous and adorable at all times but particularly in his terrible Harry Kim episodes, bonding time, ridiculous things like talent night, Kathryn Janeway's badassery (and magnificent head of hair), P(aris)/T(orres), mocking Neelix's cooking, "Maquis" and "Starfleet", crack, Q, the kissing parts, Mom and Dad, found family, time travel, best friends making fun of each other.

WE DISLIKE: manpain, watching Seven of Nine discovering her humanity again (mostly, sometimes our love for Seven herself gets the better of us), Kes' catsuits, ANY SUGGESTION OF CHAKOTAY/B'ELANNA, Kazon hair (but actually the entire species sucks, now that you mention it!), the idea of Neelix having a romantic relationship, the borg, Chakotay or Neelix-centric episodes (SPOILER ALERT: they always suck).

Anyway we had it all typed out! And then some combination of real life and not wanting Voyager to end and Bones and school caught up with us in September, and we never finished the last six episodes. BUT NOW WE HAVE, AND ALL IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD.

( I apologize in advance for the grammatical awkwardness that is me not being able to decide between first and second person. )