NOBODY IRL IS PROPERLY APPRECIATIVE OF MY TOOTHPASTE TRAUMA! I WANT MY MOTHER TO SIT ME DOWN AND EXTEND A VERY SERIOUS AND HEARTFELT APOLOGY FOR HER PART IN ALLOWING THIS TO HAPPEN TO ME! I texted my friend Liz to ask her if she still uses the same kind as she did two years ago when we discovered that we were TOOTHPASTE TWINS and also if she could send me a picture, MOSTLY I GUESS I'M JUST SCARED THAT MINE'S BEEN DISCONTINUED.

[SORRY, I DON'T WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH YOU.]