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[elapses]

Let me explain how Dan/Serena made me feel in season 1 using a handy little chart I like to call ~ALEXANDRA'S CHART OF SHIPS~*:


BUT THIS SEASON:


The change is largely due to a phenomenon the world knows as JUDGEMENTAL DAN. Or, more specifically, hypocritical manwhorey and yet still judgemental Dan. UGH, at the beginning of last week's episode when he accused Serena of the lunch-date ruining antics I wanted to punch him through my computer screen, BECAUSE SERIOUSLY, DANIEL, you spent a year knowing her and loving her and you know that shit is Blair. In fact, if I wanted to pick a reason (besides crappy writing) for this stupid, ridiculous ~*real*~ Serena that patronizes people with headscarves, it would be Dan Humphrey and his perennial inability to separate Serena from ~*Serena*~. Literally everyone else does it too, but he, of all of them, should know better. (But really, why am I making lame excuses for Schwartz's second such second season slump? AND WHY IS ALLITERATION SO WONDERFUL? And when I decide ~* was a legitimate way to make a point?)

BUT ANYWAY, LAST NIGHT--
1. The Charlie Trout stuff should have been the (HILARIOUS AND DELIGHTFUL!!!!) first step on Dan's long road to being a less judgemental person, instead it became a way to further woobify Chuck Bass. ...BUT STILL, HILARIOUS.
2. Of course the times when Serena is being most considerate of Blair's feelings Blair has no idea. OH, TV.
3. Blair's bitchy reactions to her perceived victimization are getting RIDICULOUS.
4. At least Serena was slightly less possessed. Ugh, show, why are you doing this to me?
5. UGH, JENNY. Go to school, you are fifteen.


*THE NICE THING ABOUT ~ALEXANDRA'S CHART OF SHIPS~ is that it is not necessarily about quality, it is a very personal, subjective thing based on how much fictional characters delight me. Although I'd like to think I have some internal quality that attracts me to quality things. ...unfortunately I am addicted to crap. BUT YOU KNOW.

Sidenotes--
1. I have Californication sitting on my computer BUT ZERO MOTIVATION TO WATCH IT. Even though I have CKR calling Duchovny rapey to look forward to.
2. LORDY I'M FEELING RECULSIVE TODAY. I think in the future I need to consider making less social friends? The amount of time my friends and family want to spend in the company of other people baffles me.
3. I can't decide if this serenitybyjan.com testimonial was penned by a crazy fan or a writer trying to tell us our girl Filippelli is happy now:

My husband and I light up the "Hunter Green" candle every night and it makes us feel young again! We make sweet passionate love to the smell of the candle. I make my boy a man every night!

- Karen F.

But either way, these silly web stuff the Office does!!! THANK YOU, SHOW.
4. ALL I EVER DO ANYMORE IS READ FRENCH LITERATURE :'( I am never taking two such similar classes in the same semester EVER AGAIN.